I’ll let the following three authors do the explaining!

📕1. Paul Gilbert, founder of the wonderfully named Compassionate Mind Foundation speaks of us having a ‘tricky brain’.

He says the inner critic is a feature of our humanity - rather than a flaw in our make-up and that the negative self-talk we all experience is part of our complex or tricky brain. Our capacity to imagine, anticipate and conceive of something outside of ourselves means we may also dwell on negative, regretful thoughts such as “If only I’d …” and “I should have …” Frighteningly- the same fight-or-flight, physiological response is triggered in us as it might be by an external threat. 

📗2. Psychologist Robert Firestone says every person is divided:

"part of us is goal-directed and self-possessed, while another part is self-critical, self-denying, and even self-destructive.” This Inner Critic can play a big or a small role in our lives depending on our early life experiences and the self-affirming, self-compassionate ‘work’ we do as adults.

📘3. Shirzad Chamine describes the Judge as the Universal Saboteur residing in our primitive, survival brain saying:

“Each person’s Judge develops its own particular characteristics in response to that individual’s specific needs for survival.” He says the Judge is the cause of much of our anxiety and distress with thoughts related to these three:

• what is wrong with me?
• what is wrong with you?
• what is wrong with my circumstance or this situation?

All in all, this internal critical monologue is doing us harm and needs to be addressed!

What toll does the Judge take?

Oh my goodness - imagine living beside an incredibly cranky neighbour who points out on a daily basis...

• how bad your house and garden look,
• how you’ve put on weight,
• how you're really not a very good parent etc... etc..

Would you patiently listen to him or her and take his/her words as truth??

Of course you wouldn't!

Yet, we accept as truth the litany of criticisms we hear in our own head!

The toll it takes is HUGE! Our Resilience is depleted as we stay on the hamster wheel of negative thinking. Anxiety and fear are directly connected with our negative thinking which comes from that Inner Critic.

Other potential consequences are:

Limited thinking: The more you tell yourself you can't do something, the more you believe it. (Imagine what we might do without those limitations??)

Perfectionism: You start believing ‘it’ has to be perfect, not just good enough and the reality is perfect is always out of reach!

Feelings of depression: Some research has shown that negative self-talk can lead to feelings of depression which can be serious if left unchecked.

Relationship challenges: Constant self-criticism can be annoying for others as it can make you seem needy and insecure. ​ 

To Learn  More:

How Your Inner Critic Is Holding You Back  Click here to watch an interesting video with insights and a tool to manage the Inner Critic - and I’ll be back with more strategies later in the month!